Life's moving past me. I don't really know how to truly get solid on the path to move forward.

There are fleeting moments that I feel strong, ready to pass through the door to experience new beginnings... Finding the silver lining in this upside down world I live in...

Then I blink my eyes, my confidence becomes rocked... my courage vanishes...

Another Year.. Celebrate.. Remember..

..four years..my guardian angel..

Are You a Dreamer or Realist?

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers, and the realists would find the realists but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground." 

When I heard this on Modern Family, I instantly connected with Cam's view of life. This breaks it down with such an easy visual on how these two worlds intertwine.

My life has been so blessed... the a mix of dreamers and realists that have crossed my path... amazing.

Gratitude

Melody Beattie, the author of Codependent No More breaks it down into simple terms...

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."

Be thankful for those things that we have and also for that which we have had.

I'm reminded of the Prayer of Jabez. The fable about the odd-looking building in heaven, the white boxes with red ribbons, filled with the blessings we never asked for.

"Oh,that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested. (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

Waiting for the bus

"You vote with your time." Think about that statement carefully, it's powerful. This wisdom was shared with me by one of my students, it was his grandfather's wisdom that was redirecting his path.

There are still days I just can't focus. Scattered.. scared.. there are moments where I feel invisible to the world. Lost, I have no idea who I am. I feel like I'm just waiting yet what exactly am I waiting for?

An interesting blog ( http://blogmaverick.com/2012/03/18/dont-follow-your-passion-follow-your-effort/ ) post breaks it down in four simple points...

1. When you work hard at something you become good at it.
2. When you become good at doing something, you will enjoy it more.
3. When you enjoy doing something, there is a very good chance you will become passionate or more passionate about it
4. When you are good at something, passionate and work even harder to excel and be the best at it, good things happen.
5. Don’t follow your passions, follow your effort. It will lead you to your passions and to success, however you define it.

Thankfully there are now days in which I feel confident, secure, knowing that I have made a difference in the lives of the students I touch. My efforts to empower others to believe they can achieve the impossible fills my soul. To empower myself, to believe that I can achieve the impossible as I walk this journey without my husband by my side, is slowly becoming easier.

I am humbled by God's grace in my life.

As the numbness wears off...

I've cherished the last photos that were taken of me with my husband... I've always known how much of a toll the last year of his life was on him, the weight he lost yet I never realized just how much until today... All of the sudden today it just rocked me back... when I looked at one of the photos in my office, it's like I finally saw what I've denied for so long... he was so very strong, I just had no idea...

Another year.

Remembering that special man.. kissing and holding me tight at midnight on New Year's Eve.. even if only in my dreams.. I miss him so deeply..

Honoring a loved one's life is to live each day fully, searching for the positive.. seeking God's grace and praying for his forgiveness. I pray that my faith becomes strong again.

Listening to the Ocean...

The sound of the ocean touches my soul as it cancels out the noise of the world... listening to waves crashing the shore brings such peace... knowing life's journey is so much more than what our eyes can see, what is invisible offers such hope... Celebrate the memories and always believe.

Look into the Magic of True Love

When the one you love is no longer here, in a moment, your hopes and dreams are gone. Dedicate your life to the memory of them.

Live as if they were still here, watching you. Bring joy to all those around you. Fill your soul with hope, and a love which never dies.

Fatigue

it is emotionally draining to live alone after living a life "of two" and being so much in love with my husband... it takes me so much energy to focus and plan what to do with my time...

"...fatigue means we have lost the fight with ourselves, so the key is to not fight yet to turn instead towards acceptance.. a tired spirit can only be replenished only when we let go..."

angel wisdom

- taylor and crain