Listening to the Ocean...

The sound of the ocean touches my soul as it cancels out the noise of the world... listening to waves crashing the shore brings such peace... knowing life's journey is so much more than what our eyes can see, what is invisible offers such hope... Celebrate the memories and always believe.

Look into the Magic of True Love

When the one you love is no longer here, in a moment, your hopes and dreams are gone. Dedicate your life to the memory of them.

Live as if they were still here, watching you. Bring joy to all those around you. Fill your soul with hope, and a love which never dies.

Fatigue

it is emotionally draining to live alone after living a life "of two" and being so much in love with my husband... it takes me so much energy to focus and plan what to do with my time...

"...fatigue means we have lost the fight with ourselves, so the key is to not fight yet to turn instead towards acceptance.. a tired spirit can only be replenished only when we let go..."

angel wisdom

- taylor and crain

This journey....

August, 2008... My husband took this photo on our last trip to Port Aransas. Stepping away from the computer and schedules we'd take time out to just walk the beach, holding hands... listen to the ocean and talk about our future... The first summer after he was gone my daughter, her husband and two dogs went with me. Last summer, I went alone. This summer... I don't know what it will look like, I just know I'm going.

I look at this girl in the photo and it's not the same person I see when I now look in the mirror. The girl in the photo has eyes which dance, filled with love for life, and for the man behind the camera...

Th girl I see when I look in the mirror, her eyes are filled with questions on what her future is all about. Who is she now that she stands alone, without the man who filled her life with love?

I pray that the sound of the ocean next month will bring peace... listening to the silence to find balance...

the wisdom of Dr Seuss

Only you can control your future. ~ Dr. Seuss

I would rather do almost anything than get a shot. Needles have always freaked me out as a kid, a mom, and as an adult. Totally makes me queezy whether the needles are on TV, in real life focusing on me, or especially when it's been focused on my family... So last month when I purchased a Groupon for an initial consultation and first treatment, totally voluntarily mind you, I thought wow, I've snapped... definitely couldn't understand what in the world I was thinking...

Getting extremely nervous while in the waiting room for my appointment with Vanessa I almost bolted out the door.

I'm so glad that I didn't.

It's been an amazing experience. Powerful. Unexplainable. Magical.

For several years I felt like I had been zapped into someone else's body. My whole person had been shattered. I withdrew. It seemed that the world was spinning and no one even remembered that I existed. I stopped reaching out to people. Being happy was no longer in my reach. When I was filling out the paperwork preparing for my first acupuncture visit, my responses clearly validated that I had no idea who I was anymore. When I first met with Vanessa and trying to explain my world, tears flooded my eyes, my heart raced with emotions spinning, it was overwhelming.

She told me my heart was weak with sadness. "Why don't you give yourself permission to cry?" she asks... my response, it doesn't help anything, nothing changes...


My journey alone has been like searching for the invisible. Like the energy vortexes in Sedona. Their energy was powerful, mystical and definitely unexplainable.


And now, I really can't explain yet Acupuncture is somehow sorting through my shattered emotions... helping me find the strength to begin living rather than existing...

Lesson learned... follow your instinct, not your fear...

It's the Little Things

Quiet evening re-watching the movie Somethings's Gotta Give starring Jack Nicholson & Diane Keaton. During a late night conversation he questions her comment that she missed being married most at night. When asked why, she says...

"The whole alone thing happens at night. Sleeping by myself took some getting used to. Gotta sleep in the middle of the bed. It's absolutely not healthy to have a side when no one has the other side."

Words to think about...

" Audi partem alteram"

...Hear the other side...

~ St. Augustine

Angel Wisdom...

In January of 1996, I bought Angel Wisdom by Terry Lynn Taylor & Mary Beth Crain for my husband and me. In their Introduction it reads: "We can always find meaning and joy in life, no matter how down we are, no matter what we've suffered. The key is to choose to find it... to regard life as a never-ending mystery and delight that you always have the power to make even more mysterious and more delightful."

Every night my husband and I would take turns reading the daily message to each other. So many times we would just look into each other's eyes, realizing how applicable the message was to the day we'd been having...

At the beginning of this new year I decided to again close out each day with these spiritual messages, that my husband and I had shared 15 years ago. Deep in my soul I truly feel my husband's presence with me as I read the reflection outloud each night...

January 27... Separation

An Angel Reminder: Absence makes the heart grow not only fonder but also stronger.

Sometimes we are forced to be apart from what we desire. At these times the angels are always near us to help us grow stronger in patience, faith, and trust in self. When we are called upon to experience separation from someone to which we are greatly attached, it can be a call to regeneration.

If you are undergoing a painful separation in your life, try to listen to its message and adapt to the new demands on your soul. You may need to retreat a bit, to go inward and reflect upon why this has happened and what opportunities might open up for you as a result. Resist the urge to cling to the past and wait patiently for reasons to reveal themselves.

An Angelic Reflection: Separation may give me the chance to rediscover myself.

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note to self.... we are always surrounded by life's blessings

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.